23 Apr 2020

THE QUARANTINE LETTER, by Roxana Suarez


Hi everyone! I hope you are all safe, reading this from the comfort of your home.

Seba and I are fine. We are both currently living in the beautiful city of Barcelona. We came back on March 9th, after attending the 12th edition of TanGoToIstanbul. This is a huge festival that we have enjoyed year after year, with each participation since, I would say, 2012.
Over that weekend our agenda changed drastically. The virus was spreading fast and we realized that it was much more serious than we previously thought. In a domino effect, all our commitments, workshops and festivals were getting canceled, so suddenly we had gone from having a full agenda to an empty one with no work at all for at least two months. Little did we know… 
At first, we thought we could invest this free time to have some proper rehearsals, because lately we were lucky to finish reviewing our choreographies in an empty hotel room. If we weren’t that lucky, we would use a hallway… haha. In any case, the issue during festivals, is not always the space, but mainly our energy. That’s because we do our practice after teaching the group classes, so a bit sleep deprived and with the pressure of performing in just a couple hours. Thus, some free time to study at our own pace, relaxed and free, was to be much appreciated. I thought we could reinvent ourselves somehow… But just a couple of days later, Spain declared the State of Alarm, so everything changed once again. In that moment, I understood the message was to pause. At least for me.

It’s been four weeks at home now, and I have to say, I am enjoying it a lot. Well, for us being at home is not exactly “normal”. We usually travel on Wednesdays/Thursdays to work either in a festival or a weekend workshop, and we fly back on Mondays. I must say the least pleasant part of our job is all the time waisted at the airport. Sooo annoying… It follows that most of the time we only get one or two days at home, unless we have a free weekend, and this is when I go to my yoga class, when we wash our clothes, when we meet our friends, when we go buy everything we may need. This is when we rest! And if I’m lucky I get a massage or visit my tailor (or go to the hairdresser or the nail bar which I hate, but I need to… haha). 
As you can guess by now, our free days would also get quite busy.


Please, don’t get me wrong. I could never complain about my life. Actually I have always felt very lucky just to be able to do what I love and to enjoy all the places and people I get to know through my work. I know I can only feel grateful. It’s just that having more time to just BE at home is something that I longed for. Not even on holidays would I get to enjoy all these simple things I’m savoring now… So I am really happy to spend quality time with my boyfriend, to cook, watch movies, nothing spectacular; I am sleeping a lot… haha. And still the days pass by so quickly!

I guess it’s for the first time in my life when I don’t get scared facing such an uncertain future. The only clear thing for me is that we will emerge into a different world. I am trying to stay patient and observe (which is pretty new for me, who I would easily get anxious and have always felt safer in action).

Todo cambia.
Not so long ago, a friend of mine shared with me a short story named The King’s Ring. It’s about how change is the only constant. No emotion or state lasts forever. Not the good times, but no the tough ones either. I must admit that I used to be very afraid of change (I was also very unconscious of that) and for a long time I believed in the illusion of being in control of everything. Up to a point, we are, but certainly not in the way I used to think. Now I can tell the difference.

Anyway, even though I’m enjoying this gap time, I am also conscious that many people are having a stressful time. We all still have rent to pay… I know many of you might be dealing with economic troubles, if you have kids or people that depend on you, if you have a company or any sort of business with employees, or even more complex situations, not to mention those who are fighting an illness… 
I am sending you my love and I wish you the awareness to go through it in the best possible way.

Tango has been part of my life from my first breath. Dancing to it is just one aspect. And I fully trust it will still be there for all of us when this crisis is over. And the embraces will be more valuable than ever…

Love,
Roxana